Päivitetty 07.04.2025

Q and A

Physical violence

When my husband has a lot of stress at work, he gets angry easily and is nasty to me. He’s even hit me a couple of times. But I’m sure it’ll get better when he’s not so busy at work. Maybe I’ve not been such an easy person to be around lately.

  • Stress or fatigue do not justify violence – nothing does. Violence is always wrong and always the responsibility of the perpetrator. Phone Nollalinja, and we’ll talk more about your experiences.

My husband may push and shove me when he gets angry, but nothing more serious than that has happened. I don’t think he’d actually do anything worse, but I’m concerned that our children have to see things like this.

  • Pushing and shoving are violence just as much as hitting, and just as unacceptable. Seeing violent behaviour may be just as harmful to a child as being subjected to violence. Phone Nollalinja, and we’ll talk about your and your family’s situation.

Often when my boyfriend drinks, he gets angry about tiny things and shoves me and pulls my hair. Later, he always plays it down and says that he just had a bit too much to drink.

  • Alcohol does not justify violent behaviour against anyone, and saying you were drunk is no excuse. Phone Nollalinja, and we’ll talk about it.

My wife is abusive to me, but I don’t dare tell anyone, because she seems like a decent wife to all appearances, and no one would believe me.

  • Phone Nollalinja to talk about your experiences and feelings freely. Our professionals will listen to you without questioning your story and will not require evidence of what happened. Your experience is what counts.

psychological violence

My girlfriend is really jealous and always gets angry if she sees me talking to another woman. I can’t go to office parties or go out with my friends, because we always end up in a serious argument. Sometimes my girlfriend has directly told me not to go and threatened to leave me if I went.

  • Morbid jealousy and restriction of social interaction may turn into psychological violence. Phone Nollalinja to describe and talk about your experiences.

I feel that my mother thinks everything I do is wrong. I’ve tried for years to adapt and do things her way, but nothing seems to be enough. If I don’t do things the way she wants, she punishes me and threatens to break off relations with me. What could I do?

  • Continuously criticising and putting down another person and threatening to leave them constitutes psychiological violence. Phone Nollalinja, and we’ll talk about it. Let’s consider your options together.

I am a 19-year-old trans woman. I live with my father. My father refuses to use my chosen name; instead, he calls me by the name I was given as a child. If I wear makeup or a skirt, he won’t let me leave home. Once, he pulled me back to my own room by my hair to stop me from leaving.

  • Restricting a person’s self-expression and calling them by a deadname is psychological violence. Restricting the movement of another person is a form of serious control. Violating their bodily integrity is physical violence. Please contact Nollalinja to discuss your situation further. Nollalinja and shelters respect gender self-identification.

I’m an 18-year-old woman. I moved in with my first girlfriend six months ago. At first, everything was fine, but now my girlfriend has started to insult and berate me about the smallest things. After the insults, she may give me the silent treatment for several days. Sometimes she’s back to her lovely self again. Are these normal arguments in a relationship? My girlfriend hasn’t hurt me physically. I cannot tell my parents because they do not accept our relationship and thought that moving in together was a mistake.

  • Insults and silent treatment are forms of psychological violence that are not a normal part of any relationship. By contacting Nollalinja, you can discuss your situation and experiences with a professional in anti-violence and crisis work who can take the different elements of your situation into consideration. Nollalinja can also refer you to other services, if necessary.

Threat of violence

My brother has never hit me, but lately things have been tense between us, and he’s been behaving unpredictably. I’m afraid that sooner or later he will lose his temper.

  • Phone Nollalinja, and we’ll talk about it. You can phone Nollalinja if you are worried about or afraid of violence, you do not need to have experienced violence.

My boyfriend has never been violent to me, but when he gets angry, he may break things, and sometimes he threatens to hit me if I don’t immediately do what he wants. Although I don’t think he’d really hit me, it feels bad. What could I do?

  • Threatening violence is a form of violence in itself and has no place in a healthy relationship. Even if the threats are never realised, they leave a mark on the relationship. Phone Nollalinja, and we’ll talk about it.

Violence experienced by a close person

My sister’s husband treats my sister really badly. He criticises and demeans her in front of others, and I don’t even know what goes on behind closed doors. How could I take this up with my sister?

  • Violence often affects not only the perpetrator and the victim but their family members too. If talking to your sister seems like a difficult thing to do, phone Nollalinja to talk about your sister’s situation and how you feel about it. Nollalinja is also meant for family members of victims of violence.

stalking

My marriage came to a nasty end after a long rough patch. We’ve been separated for three months now, and I have a new girlfriend, but my ex-wife won’t leave me alone. I’ve made it clear that I want nothing to do with her, but she keeps phoning me and driving past my new home. My girlfriend has reported seeing my ex-wife near her workplace several times, even though she should have no reason to be there. This is getting quite stressful; what could I do?

  • Repeated unwanted contacts and following someone around is called stalking. Phone Nollalinja, and we’ll talk about it.

Sexual violence

I’ve been seeing a man for two weeks. After our latest meeting, I invited him to my home, and he wanted to have sex. I said I didn’t want to and tried to ask him to leave, but he wouldn’t listen and instead forced me to have sex with him. I haven’t answered his phone calls since then, but I’m afraid of running into him in the street.

  • Everyone has the right to make decisions about their own body. Coercing a person into sexual interaction is sexual violence. If this happened to you, it is important to contact the nearest support unit for victims of sexual violence, such as a Seri Support Centre or the emergency medical services. The Seri Support Centres provide forensic examinations, trauma support, psychological counselling and therapy or referrals to therapy, if necessary. Reporting the crime to the police is not required for coming a Seri Support Centre, but reporting is encouraged. The sooner a victim of sexual violence receives treatment in the acute phase, the faster their recovery can begin. Clients can come to a Seri Support Centre within one month of their experience of sexual violence. At Nollalinja, you can share your experiences confidentially, receive information about Seri Support Centres and get help with filing a police report, for example.

Once when I was in the city late at night, a strange man came up to me, fondling me and making all kinds of suggestions. This left me with a really nasty feeling, and I don’t like to go out alone in the city late at night any more.

  • No one should be subjected to sexual harassment. Everyone should be allowed to set their own boundaries on their mental and physical integrity. You can call Nollalinja and discuss your feelings with our on-duty employees.

Financial violence

My spouse keeps a close eye on how I use money and never lets me buy anything for myself.

  • Phone Nollalinja, and we’ll talk about it. Restricting someone from independently using money may constitute financial violence.

My adult son is extorting money from me. Since my husband died, I’m living alone in a large detached house, and my son comes around about once a week, reeking of drink and demanding money, sometimes quite large sums. If I don’t give him any, he calls me names and sometimes hits me. I’m afraid, but I wouldn’t like to report my own son to the police. What could I do?

  • Phone Nollalinja, and we’ll talk about your difficult situation and try to think of a solution.

Nollalinja activities

I tried to phone Nollalinja but had to cut the call off. Will you call me back?

  • Nollalinja operates anonymously and in confidence. For this reason, our professionals never see the caller’s phone number during or after the call, and the number is not stored anywhere. Therefore it is unfortunately not possible for our professionals to call you back. Try phoning Nollalinja again when you can. Nollalinja is here around the clock, on every day of the year.

I left my boyfriend nearly a year ago, because he was treating me badly. He ordered how I should dress and dictated when I could meet my family and friends. He was also physically violent towards me. I’m now better than I used to be, but sometimes the memories come back and I get anxious. I can talk to my friends, but I don’t like to burden them too much after this has gone on for so long. May I phone you?

  • You can phone Nollalinja to talk about your experiences no matter how long ago they were; there is no limit. It is not unusual for stressful experiences to weigh on the mind long after the events.

What does it mean that, in some situations, Nollalinja has a reporting obligation and they have to contact the authorities?

  • Nollalinja discussions are generally anonymous. The client has the right to define the topics that they wish to discuss. They do not need to provide their contact information to receive discussion support.
  • Nollalinja duty officers only ask for the person’s information if they believe that the situation requires a notification to the authorities. This usually means a child welfare notification or a notification to the police. The purpose of these official notifications is to help and protect all parties from violence. If the necessary information is not provided and the notification cannot be submitted, Nollalinja will help as far as possible through an anonymous telephone and chat service. The contact person’s phone number or IP address is not displayed to Nollalinja employees.
  • Nollalinja employees comply with Finnish law and Nollalinja’s operating practices. For more information on the reporting obligation, see the front page of Nollalinja.fi, or contact Nollalinja to ask about the topic.

I told a Nollalinja employee on the phone about our family’s situation. They said that, based on what I told them, the situation would require an assessment by the authorities and they should submit a child welfare notification. They told me that me and my children could receive help. The employee asked me for my contact information to be able to submit a notification. However, I do not wish to share my details, as I would like to discuss my situation in confidence to start with and to have more time to reflect on it. Do I have to provide my information to get help?

  • No one is obliged to give their contact information to Nollalinja. The person contacting Nollalinja can always remain anonymous and receive help and perspective on their situation through discussion. Nollalinja only submits notifications to authorities when they are required by law, and at the employee’s discretion.
  • The child welfare services and the police are here to help and protect those who have experienced violence and those who have been exposed to violence. If the situation at home is threatening and frightening, the authorities have better ways to help than what the Nollalinja telephone service can do. However, if the person who made contact is not ready to provide their information, they can always call again and tell more about their situation the next time. Nollalinja encourages clients to also contact the authorities themselves.

I’m underage. Can I contact Nollalinja and discuss my situation?

  • People of all ages, including children, can contact Nollalinja. If an employee is concerned about the situation of an underage person, they must submit a child welfare notification. The notification is only made if the person who made contact gives the necessary information. You do not have to provide information; an underage person can also discuss their situation anonymously and receive discussion and service counselling. However, underage persons are always advised to tell someone close to them about their situation and to contact student welfare services or another helpful authority.

shelter

The situation with my partner is getting worse all the time, and I fear that soon I can’t take it any more. Can I go to a shelter? I would have to take my pet with me, could I do that?

  • Nollalinja offers information about the shelter closest to you. You can also call to find out if there are rooms available in a shelter where you can bring your pet with you. If there are no rooms available for pet owners, you will receive information on where to find a care provider for your pet.

Do I need to pay for the shelter, and do I need a referral?

  • Staying in a shelter does not cost you or your family anything. You do not need a referral or payment commitment to come to a shelter.

Who are shelters for?

  • Shelters are meant for everyone who experiences violence or a threat of violence in their family or in close relationships.

What is a shelter like?

  • A shelter is a home-like place where you can get protection from violence and help for putting a stop to the violence. Trained staff is present at the shelter around the clock. Watch a video about shelters (YouTube).

Where can I find the contact information of shelters?

  • Call Nollalinja and you will be informed of the shelter closest to you. Nollalinja workers also know which shelters have vacancies. You can also call the shelter directly. See the contact information of shelters.

Read more frequently asked questions about shelters

Safety plan

I need help in drawing up a safety plan, can your helpline professionals assist me?

  • Nollalinja will advise you how to draw up a safety plan. Take the step and contact us.